Peacemaking and Coffee

Today’s a great day! Today, in many ways, marks the culmination of a dream that began many years ago with Bob, our founding pastor, and the team leading the church at the time.

That dream took a lot of prayer, sacrifice, money, years, detours (because of things like covid), but finally it’s here.

Our café, The Pointe Café, and Play Park are open to our community. They’re open free of charge. They’re open as a gift. It’s our gift to our city. People may ask, Why would you open a café and give it away? Because we’re not in the coffee business. We’re in the family business. We’re a spiritual family, and we’re inviting people into our home. So let me ask you, how many times have you invited people into your home and charged them for a cup of coffee? If you have, that’s rude!

And that’s actually part of what we see in our text of scripture today. The opposite of being rude. But we see much more in our text. Our text of scripture today calls us to the hard and worthy work of peacemaking. Peacemaking.  Jesus said, Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God (Matthew 5:9).

Peacemaking implies two things: 1) That peace is a worthy aspiration and 2) that it does not happen naturally or by accident. It must be fought for. It was be made.

So we’re going to look at peacemaking today in four brief headings: the classroom, the hurdle, the wisdom, the witness.

1 Peter 3:8

Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble.

Peter says “finally” because in this section of the letter he gave instructions for how Christians are to live as exiles in their own land, members of God’s kingdom while participating in the kingdoms of this world. We have a dual citizenship, one in heaven, one on earth.

So he addressed the various members of a household, but now he says, Finally, all of you. This applies to everyone who’s a member of God’s church. What does he say to all of us?

Be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble. If we’re going to be about the hard and worthy work of peacemaking in the world, we need to practice in the church, with one another. This is a safe space. This is family. And yes, family sees us at our worst, but family should also see us at our best.

So God calls us to:

Be like-minded. This does not mean group think. It means unity of purpose and values. If you want to go to Chic-fil-a and your friend wants MacDonalds, your friend needs to rethink their taste. Kidding. Both of you need to move toward agreement or you aren’t eating together. Like-mindedness moves us toward agreement around the gospel.

Be sympathetic. The Greek word sympatheis is closer to our word empathy. It refers to feeling with, not just feeling for. Sympathy means you understand someone’s emotions and pain. Empathy goes deeper; it means you understand and enter into someone’s emotions and pain.

I’ve blown it in my marriage so much, way longer than I ever should’ve, especially being a pastor – like, I know this stuff. My wife can tell you that so often she’s come to me holding her heart in pieces in her hand, and I’ll take it like it’s a tennis ball: light, fun, and bouncy. Or like it’s a frog to be dissected under a microscope (Let’s talk about what I see in your heart, that’s kind of gross). Or like it’s a puzzle to be solved, but not even a 1000-piece puzzle. I want it to be a ten-piece puzzle. We can solve this thing in 2 minutes. None of that is even sympathy. That’s being rude and clueless and just plain dumb.

Sympathy is feeling for. I’m sorry you feel that way. I’m sorry that happened to you. That’s better.

But empathy is better still. Empathy is feeling with. Empathy is me saying, Here’s my hand. Can I hold some of the pieces of your heart? Can I sit here with you in this uncomfortable place? A few months ago Anna and I had one of our best moments of connection in our twenty-five years. She was working through some things. We were working through some things. And it was tense and raw (we were sitting on our bed), and Anna was really wrestling with some uncomfortable things, and I just hugged her and held her, for a long time. That was one of the moments of deepest connection and healing for us in our story. I said to her, You’re not a puzzle or a frog to me. (I didn’t say that.)

Love one another. Love biblically doesn’t mean that we feel swimmy and syrupy emotions for each other. Love biblically means that we are committed to one another’s well-being and are willing to sacrifice for the other – sacrifice our time, our money, our comfort. In other words, we’re willing to make ourselves vulnerable for the sake of the other.

Be compassionate. Compassion goes beyond empathy in that because you entered into the person’s feeling and pain (empathy), you so identify with their plight that you take steps to help them and bring relief (compassion). In the Gospels we’re often told that Jesus felt compassion for people and next we see him taking action to help them.

Be humble. It’s possible for us to do the things above from a place of self-interest, to be seen as good. That’s pride.

So this last one, humility, guards that the things above (compassion, love, empathy, like-mindedness) truly come from thinking more highly of others.

Let me ask you a question. Does your level of involvement in our church give you that trusted place in other people’s lives where you can demonstrate the qualities we just described?

Do you know people deeply enough, so you can show empathy, and they can feel and receive your empathy? Or do you say, No, I do church online. That’s not church. That’s a Bible study at best. Or do you say, No, I only come here on Sundays. So you’re with the family but you don’t belong to the family.

This is why we’re talking about membership in the church. Membership means that we’re committed to one another, to the body of Christ, and we’re willing to sacrifice time, comfort, resources – we’re willing to make ourselves vulnerable – for the benefit of another and the benefit of the world.

Membership in the church expresses Jesus’ command to us love one another as he loved us. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another (John 13:35).

The classroom for peacemaking is the church. Only when we’re this kind of people in the church (like-minded, sympathetic, loving, compassionate, and humble), will we become peacemakers in the world.

1 Peter 3:9

Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.

Why aren’t there more peacemakers in the world? If it’s such a great thing, why is it so rare? Who wouldn’t want to be on the receiving end of empathy, love, and compassion?

Peacemaking is rare because there’s a hurdle. Actually, there are many, but we’re going to talk about a big one right now: hostility. When you go out there into the world, it’s not your mom that’s waiting for you with open arms. It’s internet trolls, bossy co-workers, mean teachers, nasty citizens. Yes, many people are nice, but many aren’t. And when you meet hostility, you’re going to be tempted to respond with hostility. I have met otherwise good people who when they’re met with hostility answer with hostility.

I heard of two people in a conflict – they were going back and forth – and one of them said, Oh, if you’re going to be upset, then I’ll be upset. 

I’ve seen it in my marriage, in my kids, in work situations. Which is why Peter says, Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. He knows it’s much easier for us to go in that direction.

It takes a bigger man/woman to receive evil/insult and to repay evil with blessing. 

I’ve been thinking about this horrible thing that people in anger say to each other. Whether they’ve been insulted or they’re angry or they want to end the conversation with a sting, they’ll say, Go to hell! And they hang up the phone or end the text/comment thread or they leave the room. Go to hell! That place of torment and darkness and violence and all things nasty, that’s where I want you to go. How sad that we treat each other this way!

Peter is saying, repay evil with blessing. So imagine if when someone insults you or makes you angry, you look at them and say, Go to heaven! Yeah, that’s right. That’s where I want you to go. I want you to go where God’s love and joy and life are. Where all your wrongs are forgiven. Where you’re treated like royalty. Go to heaven! 

Imagine if that were how we approach the hostile world?

1 Peter 3:13–14

Who is going to harm you if you are eager to do good? ¹⁴ But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. “Do not fear their threats; do not be frightened.” 

In my experience people who are eager to do good do better in life. They’re not looking for trouble. They don’t assume the whole world is out to get them. They don’t see themselves as victims (they’re too empowered for that).

Peter then says, But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. How so? They have God on their side (we’ll see that in a minute). But think about what he’s saying. He’s not thinking of hostility in general. He’s thinking of hostility toward you because you’re a Christian. That’s what suffer for what is right means. Many people don’t understand or like what Christians stand for.

God is on your side. Be humble, but know that God is on your side. Do not fear their threats; do not be frightened. I like this word. Do not be stirred, agitated. That word “frightened” is a word for being stirred as when water is stirred.

I think a lot of people live agitated, frightened, anxious. So I love how Peter is empowering the Christians, telling them, You don’t have to be anxious. If you’re eager to do good, who’s going to harm you? And God is on your side to bless you, even if others come after you.

This is how we overcome the hurdle to peacemaking, the hostility of this world.

1 Peter 3:10–11

For, “Whoever would love life and see good days must keep their tongue from evil 

and their lips from deceitful speech. ¹¹ They must turn from evil and do good; they must seek peace and pursue it. 

Peter has told all of us to be like-minded, empathetic, loving, compassionate, humble, the kind of people that repay evil and insult with blessing.

Now, people might ask, Why would I want to be all those things? Those are not top of the list of the qualities that many people aspire to. So Why?

Here he tells us why by quoting from Psalm 34. Whoever would love life and see good days. Literally, The one who wants a good life and to see good days. A good life and good days!

Don’t we all want that? A good life and to see good days. And the Lord wants this for us. Otherwise, he wouldn’t motivate us with it. Just because God acknowledges the reality of suffering, it doesn’t mean that he wants suffering for his children. In a sin-cursed world, a world raging against God’s Messiah, he knows his children will encounter suffering. But he wants a good life for us. He wants us to see good days.

I find myself convincing people (and myself) that we have permission from God to want a good life and to see good days.

Now, where we may defer is in defining a good life and how to get it.

The text gives us three ways to get the good life: our speech, our actions, and our pursuit.

Our speech matters. We should watch our tongue. I want to hear about freedom of speech, but I wish we also heard more about the goodness of speech, the truthfulness of speech, the care we take with our words.

Words are mirrors. Words reflect the person we’re becoming. Out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks. That’s wisdom from Jesus, and we should take it seriously (Luke 6:45). Our speech matters.

Our actions matter. We must turn from evil and do good. I love how biblical writers address their audience expecting us to actually do good, stay away from evil, become holy like God. In our victimized culture, where everybody is at the whim of oppressive forces, Christians can read exhortations and admonitions from scripture like they’re an ideal we can’t really aspire to much less achieve. That is not how Jesus or the NT writers view us. The options are not perfection OR why even try. How about 2 Corinthians 3:18? We are being transformed into [Christ’s] image with ever-increasing glory. How is that for an exalted view of our humanity?

Finally, our ambition. If we would have the good life and see good days, we must seek peace and pursue it. As we said at the beginning, peace is a worthy aspiration, and it won’t happen naturally or by accident.

We must seek it, pursue it.

What is peace?

• Peace is shalom, and shalom is fullness of every good thing.
• You like honor instead of shame? It’s because honor is shalom.
• You like plenty instead of poverty? Plenty is shalom.
• You like security instead of fears and threats? Security is shalom.
• You like love instead of abandonment? Love is shalom.
• When Christ returns in glory, the fullness of God will fill the earth. That’s total shalom. Not a sin. Not a stain. Not a smidge of evil. No lack of goodness.

Every human heart wants shalom. And every human heart knows how easily it escapes us.

Which is why we must seek and pursue it. We must make it our ambition. For us as a church, the café and playscape are a part of how we are seeking shalom. We want people to come in and taste that the Lord is good – because his creation is good.

But it’s been an endeavor of love. We’ve prayed. We’ve given generously. We’ve waited patiently – for years. And now we’re learning to become even more hospitable as we open ourselves up to all the people the Lord will bring our way. We’re practicing empathy, love, compassion and humility.

That project is just one example of pursuing peace.

1 Peter 3:12

For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their prayer, but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.

God is on our side. He’s attentive to the prayers of his children who are peacemakers. His heart is spring-loaded to answer us, to bless us. He has his eye trained on us to bring us good.

Those who do evil, those who are not peacemakers, have the scariest thing ever: God set against them.

So consider the wisdom of peacemaking. Do you want a good life and to see good days? Work for it by watching your speech, your actions, and making peace your ambition.

1 Peter 3:15–16

But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, ¹⁶ keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander.

Verse 15 is a well-known verse in Peter. It’s the locus classicus for why Christians should always be prepared to give an answer for their faith.

It’s a powerful verse. It starts, But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. It’s not just in our minds but in our hearts that we set Jesus apart as Lord. The heart controls the person, so Jesus must be firmly established in the control room of your person.

He’s the one guiding you to become a peacemaker, and as you move into the world as a peacemaker, he’s the one you witness to.

And as you do this, people will pepper you with questions.

• Why are you so happy? 
• Why are you so full of hope in the face of suffering? 
• Why do you worship a crucified rabbi? 
• Why do you believe the things you do?
• What is wrong with you?

And our answers must come with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience. Not with frustration. Not smugly. Not cynically. Not with a posture of I’m better than you. 

In all of this we’re giving witness to the Savior, to the ultimate peacemaker. The one who by his blood came and made peace between us and God. By taking upon himself our offenses and nailing them to the cross, he opened the way between us and God, and he made peace between us and others, within ourselves, and with our environment. All four of those relationships were distorted with the fall: with God, man, self, and creation. And all four are restored in Christ.

And now we can move out into the world with the hope of Jesus.

It’s because of Jesus our peacemaker that we are opening the café and playscape. We want to put smiles on people’s faces, and see children climb and sweat, and foster connection for moms and dads.

Whether people know Jesus or are far from him, we’re opening our home to them and welcoming them as Christ has welcomed us.

• We train in the church to become empathetic, loving, compassionate, and humble.
• We overcome hostility with blessing. We repay evil with blessing.
• We trust that peacemaking is God’s answer to a good life and good days.
• We give witness that Jesus is Lord by our words and deeds.

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.

May we never repay evil with evil but repay evil with blessing. Make peacemaking your ambition.